Talk To FMA
by Chibi Envy21
Summary: Write letters to the FMA crew
1. Chapter 1

**Hey everybody! This is my very first fanfic so I hope you'll all be nice to me. Alright let's get started. **

**Talk to FMA**

**Chibi: **Ok easy as pie here folks. Ask questions; make requests, all that mumbo-jumbo and I especially would love it if you all could dare these poor people to do things…just cause it would be histar-

**Ed:** HEY WAIT A SEC! WHAT DID YOU JUST ALLOW ALL THOSE STUPID PEOPLE TO DO!

**Al: **Brother…calm down there's no need to yell she's just telling everybody what her boss told her to say it's not like she means it or anything right Chibi?

**Chibi: **No. I can't wait to see what they have in store for Ed *evil grin and rubbing hands together* Oh this is gonna be so much fun

**Envy: **Hahahahaha I like this chick anybody who makes fun of the shrimp is just the best :) *holds sides laughing even harder*

**Ed:** …I disagree I thi-…What did you just call me palm tree? *hands slam onto the table that all four are sitting around*

**Envy:** Why just what you are…a S-H-R-I-M-P *grinning smugly*

**Chibi:** *talking over the fight that ensues* Okay before this gets anymore out of hand…*Crashing noise heard*…AL GO STOP THOSE IDIOTIC IDOITS BEFORE THEY DESTROY THE HOUSE AND LET'S IN ALL THE CRAZY FANGIRLS…..myself excluded of course

**Al:** Alright…..now how am I gonna do this? *mumbles under breathe while walking over to fight*

**Chibi:** *rolls eyes* Anyway please ask questions so Boss can get this thing on a role. See you later I guess…..Bye

*Ed and Envy are seen rolling on the floor, Chibi picks them up bangs their heads together*

**Chibi:** Now say goodbye to the folks and apologize to poor Al

Ed and Envy: But He started it *points at each other*

**Chibi:** I don't care now say goodbye

**Envy:** *mumble grumble* FINE! BYE! *shakes out of Chibi's grip and walks away*

**Ed:** Bye and if anyone tries to make me do anything stupid you will all feel pain…you hear me? Pain I tell you pain. *walks off as well*

**Chibi:** *sighs* Well for the last time this time I guess it really is goodbye till next time *waves* See you all later

**Author's Note: I really hope everyone will review and the next one will be even better with more stuff going on and so forth…at least so Envy and Ed don't destroy the room…possibly the whole building…Oh god please write soon people :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry it took me this long to write this but my grandpa figured out what some of the questions were and banned me from it, including blocking it on the computer…stupid man. I had no other chances to get on a computer till now. Anyway hope you all forgive me and here we go!**

**Talk to FMA**

Ed**: ***reading* How much of an idiot is Boss again?

Chibi: Um I would say something here but I think I would get fired or something.

Al: I think you might get tortured first before that happened.

Ed: Hahahahaha now that would be hysterical!

Chibi: SHUT…UP YOU STUPID SHRIMP!

Envy: Now I really like this girl!

Ed: I will kill both you imbeciles.

Al: *sighs* let's just get on with the questions shall we?

Chibi: Hm? Oh yeah, let's see first up we have…**darkravensnight.**

**This is a question for the homunculus!(All of the ones from the FMA Brotherhood series)**

Chibi: Shit! Do I really have to let all of them in here? They're gonna destroy my house!

Ed: *smirks* Yes you do. They have to answer the question, right Chibi?

Chibi: I hate you!

Ed: Love you too.

Chibi: …anyway on with the question!

**Just how old are all of you guys?*points at Pride* You answer this one too, boy. T.T**

Pride: …Why are you pointing at me?

Everyone: O_O When did you get in here?

Pride: I've been here you stupid humans.

Other Homunculus: So have we.

Chibi: Um…this is weird.

Al: I second that.

Pride: *rolls his eyes* I'm somewhere over 300 years old.

Chibi, Ed, Al: …

Lust: Oh my turn!

Ed: Shit its Lust. *really looks at her* Um….

Lust: Haha that's right little boy. I guess I'm around 250 years old. I look good for my age don't I?

Chibi: Lust! No seducing anybody got it?

Lust: Fine!

Envy: Hey Sloth it's your turn.

Sloth: Huh…my turn? My…age…I don't know… *falls asleep*

Ed: Well that's gonna remain a mystery.

Chibi: No kidding.

Lust: Gluttony, honey, your turn. How old are you?

Gluttony: *looks up from eating tv* 100 years old.

Chibi: *crying* I knew it! Now I'm gonna have to buy a new one dammit…Envy how old are you?

Envy: Me? I believe I'm somewhere around 175 years old.

Chibi: O_o I am in love with an old person.

Envy: What? I am not! Pride is older than me dammit.

Chibi: Holy shit that's right and yet you look the youngest. That makes no sense.

Pride: *glares* Wrath, answer. I want to leave.

Wrath: Hm? Well all right. Let's see I believe I'm around 40 years old right now.

Everyone: …only 40?

Wrath: *sighs* yes I'm the youngest. Do you have a problem with that?

Everyone: …Nope.

Wrath: Greed, go.

Greed: Hell no.

Wrath: *draws sword* NOW!

Greed: Augh fine. I'm around 200. Alright happy now?

Pride: Can we go now? I'm bored.

Chibi: Please. That would make me really happy.

*They leave*

Al: Shall we go on to the next person?

Chibi: Yeah, looks like it.

Ed: Alright let's see…next up is **me and my friend**.

Envy: Hahahaha that's one weird name.

Ed, Al, Chibi: Shut up Envy.

Envy: *glares* fine you stupid humans.

**Hey guys! Krissy here. D**

Al: Hi Krissy nice to meet you.

**First of, Edward.**

**1) When you were 14 what was your height? Also what is your currnt height? I don't mean to be rude but, I'm 14 now and I'm 5'8.**

Ed: I am not answering that.

Chibi: Yes you are. Whatever the reviewer wants goes, so answer!

**A/N: These heights are not canon, except for the second one. That one was in the manga.**

Ed: …FINE! At 14 I was…um…

Al: Brother?

Ed: WHAT?

Al: do you want me to tell them?

Ed: YES!

Al: Alright. Ed was about 4'7 at the age of 14.

Chibi, Ed: * crawl into corner*

Envy: Why'd they do that?

Al: I think it's because they were shorter than Krissy at the age of 14.

Envy: I knew it, humans are weak creatures.

Al: Anyway, he's about 5'4 now. The same height as Chibi I think.

Chibi, Ed: Shut up Al.

Al: I'm done anyway, on to the next question.

**2) Why'd you grow your hair like that?**

Ed: It's too much of a hassle to get it cut.

Envy: Makes you look like a girl…or more specifically red riding hood.

Ed: …I'm definitely going to kill you.

Envy: Good luck Shrimp.

**3) Why do you hate milk?**

Ed: …no comment.

Chibi: *gets out of her corner and hits him on the head* Answer.

Ed: …

Chibi: *grins evilly* You really should drink milk. It'll make you taller you know.

Ed: SHUT UP11 I'M NOT GONNA DRINK SOME OPAQUE WHITE LIQUID THAT WAS SECRETED BY A COW!

Chibi: Well there you have it Krissy.

**4) Do you like Winry? If yes, since when?**

Ed: L-like Winry? I um…

Chibi: No denying. You marry her in the manga don't you?

Ed: *blushes* Fine yes I do…

Chibi: And why is that?

Ed: …because she's her. She's strong, brave and beautiful.

Chibi: Awwww that's adorable.

**5) Does anyone ever call you a shota?**

Ed: A wha?

Chibi: What is that?

Envy: Look it up you idiots.

Chibi: Fine!

…

…

Ed: O_O WTF!

Chibi: Haha yes he is. You are so a shota.

Ed: …

**Second, Alphonse.**

**1)When you were 14 what was your height? Also what is your currnt height?**

**A/N: Now this is all pure guessing.**

Al: Um I was still a suite of armor when I was 14 so I have no idea there but I'm about 5'6 now.

Chibi, Ed: *glares at Al*

Al: What?

**2) How come you're a gentleman and Ed's not?**

Everyone: …

Chibi, Envy: HAHAHAHAHAHA

Al: That's a good question. I have no idea.

Ed: *glares* I hate you all.

**3) Do you like Mei as well?**

Al: Wait! Mei? I um *blushes*

Chibi: Aww he's blushing. It's adorable.

Al: She…um she's cute.

Ed: Wait when did this happen?

Chibi, Envy: When you weren't looking shortstack.

Ed: …

**4) How come you ended up taller that Ed?**

Al: I don't know…I got the good genes maybe?

**5) Does anyone call you a shota?**

Al: Since I look like my brother, more than likely.

**Lastly, for the both of you.**

**-Who is the better fighter?-**

**-Who is the better looking one?-**

Ed, Al: I am! *glares at each other*

Chibi, Envy: *evil grins* Hehe

**That's about it. D**

**I know Al will answer my questions. D Ed, if you don't...then I dare you to drink a gallon of milk for each question that you skip! D**

**Bye for now! 3**

Ed: Thank god I answered them all.

Chibi: *evil grin* actually you didn't.

Ed: Yes I did!

Envy: Al answered your height and you never said anything about the shota question.

Ed: O_O I AM NOT DRINKING TWO GALLONS OF THAT SHIT!

Chibi: Yes you are. Envy, Al hold him.

Al: I'm sorry Brother.

*Envy and Al grab Ed*

Chibi: here we gooooo!

Ed: NOOO-

…

…

Chibi: There that wasn't so bad was it?

Ed: *unconscious*

Chibi: Oh dear and the next question is for him and Winry from **Athenafrodite.**

Al: Do you want me to get Winry while you guys try to wake him up?

Chibi: Yes please, thank you Al.

Al: You're welcome.

Chibi: Hmm maybe hearing the question will wake him up?

Envy: Anything that puts the shrimp in shock is fine with me.

**easy, to winry, what would she do if we make ed kiss her, and viceversa the other way around :D**

Chibi: Well that didn't wake him up.

*Winry walks in*

Chibi: Hey Winry. You hear the question?

Winry: Yep. I'd probably kiss him after hitting him across the head with my wrench.

Ed: *jerks awake* I've already almost died from you hitting me. I don't need to add another one, thank you very much.

Chibi: Ed?

Ed: Whaat?

Chibi: What would you do if Winry kissed you?

Ed: *freezes*

Envy: Oh hey look, there's more.

**and they must do it :P**

Chibi, Envy: I love this person! Haha

Al: Um brother are you okay?

Ed: No.

Winry: Umm so we have to do it?

Chibi: Yep. Whatever the reviewer wants goes.

Winry: *blushing* Oh all right.

…

…

…

Chibi: I think this might take awhile soooo on to the next person.

?: Hiiii Chii-chan!

Chibi: …OMG! It's Hatsu-chan!

**BTW, ChibiEnvy-Chibi-Chii. She's rather adorable, so, Chii-chan!**

Chibi: *blushing* Thanks Hatsu-chan.

**HEY SHORTY!**

Ed: *breaks away from Winry* WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME!

Chibi, Envy: HAHAHAHAHA

**I HAVE A DIRTY QUESTION**

Everyone: …

Chibi: Okay everyone prepare yourselves.

Envy: Can it really be that bad?

Chibi: Yes, yes it can.

Ed: Shit!

**ARE YOU THE UKE?**

**OR ARE YOU THE SEME?**

Everyone: WTF?

**I APOLOGIZE FOR THE DIRTY QUESTION, BUT YOU HAVE TO ANSWER OR I'LL SIC MY TRUE RUNE BEARERS ON YOU.**

Chibi: Oky cause I don't want Hatsu to destroy my house answer the question.

Ed: What the hell is a seme and uke anyway?

Chibi: *sighs and whispers in Ed's ear*

Ed: Holy shit! Not answering.

Winry: *brandishes wrench* Answer!

Ed: Fine…um seme.

Chibi: Nope you're the uke.

Ed: WHAT?

Chibi: have you seen the yaoi with you and Mustang? You're always the uke.

Ed: That is just disgusting.

**And for Alphonse**

**Hm... You are definitely the uke.**

Al: O_O um I have no idea what to say.

Envy: Haha the two brothers are the ukes. That's just priceless.

**Also, how often do you get called a shota?**

Al: Um like I said earlier. I get called it a lot.

**AAAND for Envy.**

Envy: Crap!

**I saw your relatives in Florida.**

Envy: Relatives?

Chibi: You remember how Ed calls you a palm tree?

Envy: …Bitch!

Chibi, Ed: HAHAHAHAHA

**And if you don't comply to Chii-chan's wishes, I will, like, enact Polish law and make Warsaw your capital.**

**You have been warned.**

**...and you are the seme.**

Chibi: I KNEW IT! Your to manly to ever be the uke like the Elric brothers.

**Byee Chii-chan,don't kill me for being a pervert**

Chibi: Why would I do that silly? This was a bundle of laughs.

**Love ya,**

**Hatsu**

Chibi: Love you too. Okay who's next?

Al: **Dragonlover74191**

**A brilliant idea! Here we go...**

Chibi: Yay! Brilliant ideas!

**Dear Riza Hawkeye, #1 sharpshooter in the universe,**

**I would just like to say that I've always admired you as a strong, independent woman. However, there is one question that has bugged me for some time: Are you and your superior officer, Colonel Roy Mustang, ever going to get together? And don't say you don't like him like that, I saw what happened after Lust told you she killed him. No one gets that emotional over a superior or a friend**.

Riza: He is just my superior officer and a friend. That is all.

Chibi: OOOOOkay I'm not going to ask when you got here.

**And if you dare deny your feelings, I have no choice but to force the following dares on you:**

**1. Force you into a very tiny miniskirt and tubetop.**

**2. Have a photo of you in this outfit sent to Roy.**

**3. Make you poledance for Roy in this outfit.**

**And finally...**

**4. Have you sing "I Wanna Be Bad" by Willa Ford.**

**Sorry Riza, but you force my hand in these matters. Not my fault if I'm a Royai fan :). Hope you can learn to forgive me for this.**

**Sincerely,**

**Dragonlover71491 AKA Draggy**

Riza: …fine. I will do my duty for the reviewer.

Chibi: Alright. We'll see you next chapter to see how you did.

*Riza leaves*

Chibi: Well that seems to be the last of them. Thank you so much for your questions and I hope I will get more of them in the future.

Everyone: BYE!

**A/N: Thank you so much everyone. I hope everyone likes it.**


End file.
